And now the critic of the societate #1

To do in a super-marqueter:

1- Agarreite in 20 four boxes of preservators and put in various carrins, aleatorialy, when the persons are distractood.
2- Programate the despertators to tocarate from 5 in 5 minutes.
3- Go to the Stand to the Clients and pergunt if they can reservate a pacot of M&M’s.
4- Mount a tend in the sector of campism and tell the clienthood that you are going to arrochate. Convince the persons to bring the travesseirates from the sector textul.
5- When a functionary ask you if you need aid, começate crying and scream: “Why is that you don’t give corde to the shoes?? Leave me in peace!”
6- Find a camarate of vigilator and use it to put the burries that you tirate of your nose.
7- Search for a naife of trinchation well afiated. Bring it Durant all the percussive of shops and go asking to the funcioners if they sell anti depressors.
8- Hide behind of the roupe in the cabids and when somebody aprossimate shoute: “Picka me!”
9- When they annunciate whatever in the altifalants deiteite in the chaon and shoute: “The voices! Again the voices!”
10- Go to the provador of the roupe. Feitche the door, give a track, arreate the rock, a-keep a minute and then shoute: “Oh Miguel!! There is papereite!??? Son of the mother!! Oh Snow!!! There is papelaite!!???”

Historiate #10

A man tall loire and of eyes azulies enters the esquadre and go to the nearest bofiaman.
-I came here to entregate me! I am an assassinator! I atropelated a man! I atropelated a black man on the strade of benfica.
-Well. Where is that he was?
-He was in the calçate.
-If he was in the calçate is because he wanted to atravessate the road! You haven´t guilt any! Happens! It's the destiny!
-No! I am a killer! My mother should pariate a monkey instead of me! I enterriate the man right there!
-You did what is right! Anyone elsa would abandonateded him for he is eaten by the biches.
-But when I was enterriating he was saying: "I am alivie! I am aliviated!"
-Lai! Lai! Those nigas lai much!

Moral:
(I intend that no is needed a moral.)

Historiate #9

After various days triping for the inside, the vending man receibe a telegram of his gerent with the folou text: DAM.

Imediteadly, go to the mail more proach and mand one telegram of resposting: FUCK.

Various days after, as that he putes his foots on the escrotorie, the gerent call he.

-You are despedated!
-What charge of water??
-Thoses are moods of resposting to my telegram? You don´t sabe that we are in contenting of despases? My telegram was a-feathers one mood simplied of say: Deliver the Another Mode.

And the vending man:
Was for that that I resposted: For U is Calvin Klein!

Moral:
The ignorationing escandalizatones the entendment!

Very Thanked to "Essa já é velha...". From the found of the heart.

Historiate #8

Mr. Arm-walk was enfrascating him at a bar and at 3 hours of the morning he decided to give to the sole and go to house.
When he was to walk from there to out, he went with the trombe to the floor. He said: "Thunders break the slut of the passeie!"
He levantated him and getted recompostated.
He called the square of taxis to come to house in segurity.
The taxi parated even in front of he.
He don't caned walk, so he gatinhated to the taxi like a baby recent-born.
He went to house and when was tirating the keys of the bolsate, he falled again.
In the day after his espose avisated that this was not the first time that he come to house in that conditiones. This turn Arm-walk even deixated the chair of rodes in the bar.

Moral:
Good vinheite, bad cabeçeite.

Desculpatorie #1

Sorry us all you, but we have to pareite of write to the crazya because I had a test that make me walk at spiders... But already is behind of the costes... Now I have to arreate the rock because I ate at lunch a cod fish at Dick-of-the Pipe that give me the round to the stomague. If you want, you can sit here watching passing ships. I'm less lixating...
The our sorrys.

Historiate #6

Mans armed in face-stick of race!!

Incredible! A smartalion guy called Dick-of-the-Bulls from the sides of the gold’s river decided to gamate the cobes from the vizaine. He went there acompanhated of his brother Sir Aiva.
Everything happened in a night of light of the moon. The wolfs were uivating. The dogs were ladrating and the caravane was passating.
They were now nearby the horte of the vizaine. They looked for inside and Sir Aiva saw the vizaine combing monkeys.
Dick-of-the-bulls responded:
-I can’t see the point of a horn!
-It’s not a horn! The monkeys don’t have horns!! Unstop me the store!!
-Shhtei!!! Little basqueire!!! You are giving in the views!!!
Suddenly they were stupefacted as the vizaine walks out the door:
-A person already can’t have the cod fish of sauce! Put yourselves walking! And fast! Before that I come there and give to you in the nose!!

Moral:
As ladron is the one that goes to the horte as the one who stays at the porte.

Historiate #5

I’m gonna contate to all you a historiate.
Certain day, the switch-paints Stick-lo (son of the mother), was in the jam with another member of his specie… There are who say that he his a talk-cheap to all the womens he eat! But his mother say that he is a kid at the rights!! But this now don’t interessate!
Let me put the things in plates cleanes. That girl that he was giving thongades is ona who have one count bankary at suiss!!
Well… The caisal already boughty a bed to truca-trucate!!

And the morally is:
Colche feite, truca-truca at espreite!

Historiate #2

In Besidetejo, in a small village near borba (good wine que they have!!), Armando was always having dinner at Mary of the Sea's. Armando's wife was suspecting of him because he never have hungry at dinner time.
Certain day Mary of the Light asked Armando why he never have hungry at 8:00 o'clock. He was honest and said that the garlic that she used should be away from the praze.

Moral of the historiate:

If you want the garlic catchapernated, plant it in the month entrudated.
(Quem quiser o alho cachapernudo, plante-o no mês do Entrudo.)